thinking back/thinking forward

yak udah tanggal 1 september aja nih tau2nya, ga berasa. time is ticking. tahun 2011 uda tinggal sisa 4 bulan lagi. jadi mikir, resolusi taun ini gimana progressnya yah. tapi kali ini ga tau napa agak lebih serius mikirnya, jd mikirin progress kehidupan gw sendiri. hehe berat yah mikirnya :p i dont know, i'm just wondering, what have i done with my life? have i done something great?
belakangan banyak mikir, apa yang gw lakukan selama ini itu sebenernya yg gw mau ato bukan sih? i feel like i want to do these things before, tapi belakangan kok kynya i dont really enjoy doing it yah. hmm sometimes i enjoyed it, sometimes i dont. gw jd brapa kali ky baca2 lagi journal gw di jaman2 dulu, wktu masi semangat2nya, excited buat melakukan banyak hal, pengen ini pengen itu. hmm skrg sih masi ada beberapa hal yg buat gw excited, tapi kok rasanya excitednya beda yah. i dont know apa ini gara2 gw lg jenuh aja, ato emang gw harus cari hal2 lain yang bikin gw semangat. i feel like needing to find my purpose back, the exact things/reason i'm created for.
anw, gw bersyukur dari dulu terbiasa nulis journal. krn dr baca2 apa yg ditulis kdg ky jd ngingetin gw lagi apa yg uda lewat, yg uda tercapai, apa yg tadinya jd harapan gw dll, biar back to track lagi. hehe hmm i think gw mulai nulis journal itu dari sebelom tahun 2000-an bukan ya? lupa. udah lama pokonya. dan klo baca2 lagi tuh kadang bisa ketawa sndiri, sedih sendiri, seneng sndiri, dan yang pasti berasa sgt bersyukur, God has led me this far. baca journal itu berasa ky lagi flashback, ky lagi baca balik kehidupan gw dr jaman dulu sampe skrg. hihi kynya klo dibikin buku, uda bisa jadi buku tebel 400-an halaman deh. hehe
back to the topic. i feel like finding new things to do. or maybe just do the other things that excites me n leave the things i get bored now for sometime? hmm i need wisdom. God please help me :'(
yang jelas, skrg gw masi excited sama hal2 ini: cooking, crafts, dogs/pets, trus apalagi yah, ga kepikiran. hmm i really need to find new things! :p

tiba2 keinget lagu ini:

all of my life in every season, You are still God
i have a reason to sing, i have a reason to worship

one thing for sure, He will never leave me, and He has prepared the best for me. Thank You God :)
ayoo semangat joie! :)

Fruit of the Spirit

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.

But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. (Gal 5:22-23 The Message Bible)

what i found today

via coolhunter (coolhunter on facebook)

rush rush rush

been quite busy these days. so many things to do n be finished. brasa dikejer2 from one to another. plus lagi banyak pikiran juga. jadi rasanya campur aduk deh. huyuhh
anyway, walopun sempet down, thank God dpt semangat lagi abis diingetin to keep on being grateful for everything. give thanks for everything God has permit to be happened, for everything that has been trusted to me, and for the ups and downs, karena semuanya itu untuk kebaikan kita sendiri. and for sure, i trust my God that He is good, He will give me strength to face all the things i should face, do all the things i should do. and believe that He provides the best for my future, way beyond what i can think of. so, thank You God :)

"But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind." Isaiah 40:31

s.e.m.a.n.g.a.t.!

memories

Nowplaying: Inggrid Michaelson - The Way I Am

Klo denger lagu ini jd inget jaman2 kerja di kantor lama, krn dulu smpt tiap pagi alarmnya pk lagu ini :p jd kangen. Kangen kantornya, kangen suasana kerjanya, kangen orang-orangnya, tapi tentunya tidak kangen work loadnya :p

Lucu yah, dengerin lagu-lagu tertentu bisa bikin kita feel back the memories. Jd inget dulu klo dtg ke kantor pagi2 bikin teh dulu br mulai kerja. Inget suka cuciin coffee maker kantor pdhl gw ga sk kopinya, tp gw cuciin biar bisa nyantai bntar di pantry. Inget jadi dj siapin lagu2 buat dimainin seharian di kantor. Inget pas kapan wktu djnya siapa gitu tiba2 ada lagu "kusiapkan hatiku Tuhan" trus ada temen siapin amplop coklat buat persembahan. Hihi *ngakak* inget bbrp kali bikin surprise buat tmn yg ulang taun. Inget klo sore suka nitip si mas hadi beliin tempe n gorengan2 lain, trus makan rame2. Inget wktu2 lembur sampe malem brg tmn2. Inget si pacar yg brp kali tiba2 ada di dpn kantor bawain makan buat ngelembur. Inget kdg sk dianter jemput pacar jg pulang pegi klo lg ga ada mobil. Inget jaman2 pas suka ujan gede n banjir di parkiran. Inget klo abis pegi makan kluar sama anak2 tp nyampe kantor kuncinya ga ada trus jd nongkrong di dpn. Hehe somehow I miss working there. Not missing the stresses and work loads, but missing the memories I guess. Diinget2 dulu jg suka bangun pagi begitu denger alarm jd deg2an n worried about the day. Hehe yah tp dibanding duka2nya skrg ky lebih keinget ama suka2nya :p

Anyway I'm grateful for the time being there. It really helped me a lot to be what I am today. I learned so much at those time. And I'm grateful for everyone I met there. God bless each one of them :)

Skrg being a freelancer bukan berarti jadi seneng2/santai2 n ga ada stres. Stressnya beda, tantangannya beda. Yah both of them (working full time at office and being a freelancer) sama2 punya pros and cons. I'm just grateful for the phase of life that I hv now. Thanks God :)

lego bricks

it'll be fun if we could use this kind of bricks to build houses, and then when we get bored with the house, just knock it down and remodel it over again :p
via freshome

don't ever stop learning

lagi bete sama 3d max :( beberapa hari ini ngerjain gambar yang seharusnya bisa cepet beres, gara2 settingan lighting/ apalah itu *yang aku tak mengerti kenapa* harusnya gpp kok malah jd ribet. huh aneh banget deh. pas gambarnya gelap berarti logikanya settingan lightingnya di naikin, dicoba naik-naikin dikit sambil tes, ehhh tau2nya jadi keterangan. trus nanti klo keterangan diturunin settingannya dia tetep terang2 aja. maunya apa sih. smurf!

tapi minggu ini gw jadi banyak belajar:
1. belajar sabar. sabar nunggu renderan yang klo uda render gede bisa ngabisin waktu 1 jem, belajar sabar walopun pengen cepet2 kelarin smua gambarnya
2. belajar estimasi waktu kerja. klo emang ga sanggup kerja cepet dan banyak msti bisa ngomong, jgn iya-iya aja *abis pikirnya bisa cepet* :(
3. belajar ga under estimate kerjaan. brasa ah gampang, ternyata ga semuanya segampang yang dipikirkan
4. belajar jangan mau dibawa stress. if God brings me to it, He will bring me through it. amin! :)
5. dan yang pasti, musti belajar lebih banyak lagi biar ga ada problem gini2 lagi. selama ini pikir ah kyny uda cukup deh, ga ada masalah/lancar2 aja. tapi ternyata oh ternyata.. jadi ga boleh berenti belajar. klo mau terus berkembang harus mau untuk belajar terus ;)

jadi, thanks God :)
*semoga abis ini 3d max nya ga bikin bete lagi* :)