counting the days.

it's 20 days to the D-day, the day i should submit all the drawings and friends.. and 23 days to the final judgement week (i dont what's 'sidang akhir' in english ;p)
ahh after this i will be freeeeeee.. yaayyy... i'm sooo longing to finish these all soon.
anw i already made calendars, to do list, counting the days post it, etc.. but somehow kok gw brasa masi nyantai yah.. kadang panik gila2an, kadang stress gila2an, kadang pasrah abis, dan kadang sangat sangat santai..haha
and this morning i found this in design*sponge..
and i thought i should make one like this on my bedroom wall! biar aura musti ngerjain cepet2nya lebih terasa. ehehe :D *but surely i have no time to make it :)
well anw,lg pengen nulis iseng aja. going back to work on my skripsi again.. hari ini targetnya mau selesein bab 4 paper skripsinya.. ayoo semangaaaat!!!

grateful for

1. the opportunity to study design, dan bs sampe tahap skrg ini, tgs akhir.
2. sebulanan lagi bakalan bebas dari yang namanya skripsi.
3. it's already december, bentar lagi taon baru.
4. punya temen2 n kluarga yg supportive :)
5. topik ta gw walopun berat dan ribet tp unik, dan pasti ada nilai plus krn uniknya itu (poin yg ini bersyukur skaligus berharap jg sih ;p)

thank God for my life :)

short/long update

hmmm just want to write a bit. this week hasn't been the best week for me. had to experience shock therapy, twice. oh well, trying to stand still, though i admit is not easy. dan abis ngalamin gini rasanya sangat tidak bersemangat sekali buat lanjutin ngerjain ta. rasanya pengen kabur aja, udah deh ga usah pake ta2an. gile yah, waktu ke sidang akhir udah tinggal sebulan kurang, tapi design gw pun masi blum diapprove sama si u-know-who. ga pernah kebayang seumur idup mo lulus bakal disusahin ky gini. seumur2 kuliah di untar pun jg ga pernah sesusah ini rasanya. DI1 sampe 5 bisa lulus lancar2 aja, tp knp lg ta gini susah bener yah. dan abis ngalamin shock therapy gini, rasanya slama ini gw ga bisa desain, rasanya ky jd ga pede sama desain sendiri. dan rasanya sangat menyesal napa gw pilih topik ta ini. smurrf!
tp anw maren gw nntn sermonnya ps jose yg when u stop growing. dan dari situ gw jd diingetin bbrapa hal. i'll just paste it from my journal.
* ketika orang lain ga mengerti dirimu, ato mgkn lo disalahmengerti, ketika lo harus belajar mengerti orang lain, bahkan sama orang yang mgkn umurnya udah jauh di atas kamu, itu brarti Tuhan kasi kamu kesempatan untuk jadi lebih dewasa, bahkan lebih dewasa dari org itu. Dan kyny ini ngena banget sama gw. Gw harus ngertiin si u-know-who, this is a time n opportunity for me to grow wiser n more mature.
*ketika kamu dihadapin beban apapun, mau di keluarga, kerjaan, kuliah, or in my case skripsi. Rasanya bebannya berat sekali, but it’s the opportunity for u to grow. untuk streching ur faith, ur ability n ur capability. Ky otot yg distrech waktu work out, rasanya sakit, but next time otot itu jadi udah terlatih untuk menghadapi beban yang lebih berat. So it’s a work out time for me now. Rasanya sakit, but I’ll enjoy it when it’s over.

n ini jg bbrp yg gw dpt dr buku joel osteen:
*keep singing ur song. Despite of things negative that happens, we still have joy in our hearts. Sing ur song means u’re being grateful to God, and believing that He takes care of you, and He will turn your situation around on time. So, be grateful, keep on praising Him. He’s good.
*smile! Even if you don’t have any reason to smile. Smile by faith. Smiling sends a message to your whole body that everything is going to be okay. Be grateful n smile!
*believing is different than expecting. Believing is passive, expecting is active. So when u’re expecting for God to turn your situation around, u’re doing something about it. we do the best that we can do, and let God do what we cannot do. Leave the rest to Him.

ahh *tarik napas dalem2, buang*

okeh, banyak belajar dan diingetin jg sih. tp emang susah2 gampang yah. hr ini udah berusaha supaya tetep semangat dan berjuang buat lanjutin revisi ta, tp sejujurnya sayah mengakui klo sampe saat ini pun ms blum berhasil. udah buka max n cad seharian tp yg baru gw kerjain cuma ngerender design lobby yg kmrnan, pdhl itu pun udah ditolak sama si u-know-who. hiks

ok i run out of words now.

chat with God

God : Hello. Did you call me?

Me: Called you? No.. Who is this ?

God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.

Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.

God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me: Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity
consumes time. Productivity frees it.

Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God : Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?

God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.

Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty. .

God : Pain is inevitable able, but suffering is optional.

Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher . She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free from problems?

God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you! Are free from problems.

Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..

God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?

God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Me: What surprises you about people?

God : when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I cant get the answer.

God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

Me: How can I get the best out of life?

God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.

God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve..

*sigh

ahh.. had too many sighs today. and i admit that lately i've been taking deep sighs too often. *sigh* these too shall pass! things are getting better n i will make it! amen.
i'm trying to keep on reminding myself that He let things happened for my own good. now He is streching my faith in Him n in myself too. so many things to learn, especially in trusting n laying all my worries down to Him.
anw i just want to quote this song lyric, Let God be God by Craig Phillips. havent heard the song tune til now, but i like the lyric. Let God be God.

He‘s In Lifezone
And a blended sea of stars begin to shine
You set bird sing
And million melodies spilled up the sky
You set this world
Spinning through a crowded Milky Way
Whether the sun comes up
And the sun goes down
And God doesn‘t seem to need my help
The one who owns the sea and planes
Is watching down for every step I take

I think I‘ll let God be God, I‘m giving up control
I think I‘ll relax, step back, It‘s time for letting go
If you get the universe and say
A million years of soles
It‘s just the keeper of the creation knows
I think I‘ll let God be God

You clap your hands
The thunder rolls and the lightning filles the sky
You breath new life
A tiny new born baby starts to cry
The time rolls in and it rolls back out
And never has God needed me to help
The wanted seas and sparrow fall
It‘s what I needed before I even call

Yeah, nothing takes you by surprise
Never laid on ways on time
The one who owns the sea and planes
Is watching down for every step I take