thinking back/thinking forward

yak udah tanggal 1 september aja nih tau2nya, ga berasa. time is ticking. tahun 2011 uda tinggal sisa 4 bulan lagi. jadi mikir, resolusi taun ini gimana progressnya yah. tapi kali ini ga tau napa agak lebih serius mikirnya, jd mikirin progress kehidupan gw sendiri. hehe berat yah mikirnya :p i dont know, i'm just wondering, what have i done with my life? have i done something great?
belakangan banyak mikir, apa yang gw lakukan selama ini itu sebenernya yg gw mau ato bukan sih? i feel like i want to do these things before, tapi belakangan kok kynya i dont really enjoy doing it yah. hmm sometimes i enjoyed it, sometimes i dont. gw jd brapa kali ky baca2 lagi journal gw di jaman2 dulu, wktu masi semangat2nya, excited buat melakukan banyak hal, pengen ini pengen itu. hmm skrg sih masi ada beberapa hal yg buat gw excited, tapi kok rasanya excitednya beda yah. i dont know apa ini gara2 gw lg jenuh aja, ato emang gw harus cari hal2 lain yang bikin gw semangat. i feel like needing to find my purpose back, the exact things/reason i'm created for.
anw, gw bersyukur dari dulu terbiasa nulis journal. krn dr baca2 apa yg ditulis kdg ky jd ngingetin gw lagi apa yg uda lewat, yg uda tercapai, apa yg tadinya jd harapan gw dll, biar back to track lagi. hehe hmm i think gw mulai nulis journal itu dari sebelom tahun 2000-an bukan ya? lupa. udah lama pokonya. dan klo baca2 lagi tuh kadang bisa ketawa sndiri, sedih sendiri, seneng sndiri, dan yang pasti berasa sgt bersyukur, God has led me this far. baca journal itu berasa ky lagi flashback, ky lagi baca balik kehidupan gw dr jaman dulu sampe skrg. hihi kynya klo dibikin buku, uda bisa jadi buku tebel 400-an halaman deh. hehe
back to the topic. i feel like finding new things to do. or maybe just do the other things that excites me n leave the things i get bored now for sometime? hmm i need wisdom. God please help me :'(
yang jelas, skrg gw masi excited sama hal2 ini: cooking, crafts, dogs/pets, trus apalagi yah, ga kepikiran. hmm i really need to find new things! :p

tiba2 keinget lagu ini:

all of my life in every season, You are still God
i have a reason to sing, i have a reason to worship

one thing for sure, He will never leave me, and He has prepared the best for me. Thank You God :)
ayoo semangat joie! :)

rush rush rush

been quite busy these days. so many things to do n be finished. brasa dikejer2 from one to another. plus lagi banyak pikiran juga. jadi rasanya campur aduk deh. huyuhh
anyway, walopun sempet down, thank God dpt semangat lagi abis diingetin to keep on being grateful for everything. give thanks for everything God has permit to be happened, for everything that has been trusted to me, and for the ups and downs, karena semuanya itu untuk kebaikan kita sendiri. and for sure, i trust my God that He is good, He will give me strength to face all the things i should face, do all the things i should do. and believe that He provides the best for my future, way beyond what i can think of. so, thank You God :)

"But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind." Isaiah 40:31

s.e.m.a.n.g.a.t.!

memories

Nowplaying: Inggrid Michaelson - The Way I Am

Klo denger lagu ini jd inget jaman2 kerja di kantor lama, krn dulu smpt tiap pagi alarmnya pk lagu ini :p jd kangen. Kangen kantornya, kangen suasana kerjanya, kangen orang-orangnya, tapi tentunya tidak kangen work loadnya :p

Lucu yah, dengerin lagu-lagu tertentu bisa bikin kita feel back the memories. Jd inget dulu klo dtg ke kantor pagi2 bikin teh dulu br mulai kerja. Inget suka cuciin coffee maker kantor pdhl gw ga sk kopinya, tp gw cuciin biar bisa nyantai bntar di pantry. Inget jadi dj siapin lagu2 buat dimainin seharian di kantor. Inget pas kapan wktu djnya siapa gitu tiba2 ada lagu "kusiapkan hatiku Tuhan" trus ada temen siapin amplop coklat buat persembahan. Hihi *ngakak* inget bbrp kali bikin surprise buat tmn yg ulang taun. Inget klo sore suka nitip si mas hadi beliin tempe n gorengan2 lain, trus makan rame2. Inget wktu2 lembur sampe malem brg tmn2. Inget si pacar yg brp kali tiba2 ada di dpn kantor bawain makan buat ngelembur. Inget kdg sk dianter jemput pacar jg pulang pegi klo lg ga ada mobil. Inget jaman2 pas suka ujan gede n banjir di parkiran. Inget klo abis pegi makan kluar sama anak2 tp nyampe kantor kuncinya ga ada trus jd nongkrong di dpn. Hehe somehow I miss working there. Not missing the stresses and work loads, but missing the memories I guess. Diinget2 dulu jg suka bangun pagi begitu denger alarm jd deg2an n worried about the day. Hehe yah tp dibanding duka2nya skrg ky lebih keinget ama suka2nya :p

Anyway I'm grateful for the time being there. It really helped me a lot to be what I am today. I learned so much at those time. And I'm grateful for everyone I met there. God bless each one of them :)

Skrg being a freelancer bukan berarti jadi seneng2/santai2 n ga ada stres. Stressnya beda, tantangannya beda. Yah both of them (working full time at office and being a freelancer) sama2 punya pros and cons. I'm just grateful for the phase of life that I hv now. Thanks God :)

don't ever stop learning

lagi bete sama 3d max :( beberapa hari ini ngerjain gambar yang seharusnya bisa cepet beres, gara2 settingan lighting/ apalah itu *yang aku tak mengerti kenapa* harusnya gpp kok malah jd ribet. huh aneh banget deh. pas gambarnya gelap berarti logikanya settingan lightingnya di naikin, dicoba naik-naikin dikit sambil tes, ehhh tau2nya jadi keterangan. trus nanti klo keterangan diturunin settingannya dia tetep terang2 aja. maunya apa sih. smurf!

tapi minggu ini gw jadi banyak belajar:
1. belajar sabar. sabar nunggu renderan yang klo uda render gede bisa ngabisin waktu 1 jem, belajar sabar walopun pengen cepet2 kelarin smua gambarnya
2. belajar estimasi waktu kerja. klo emang ga sanggup kerja cepet dan banyak msti bisa ngomong, jgn iya-iya aja *abis pikirnya bisa cepet* :(
3. belajar ga under estimate kerjaan. brasa ah gampang, ternyata ga semuanya segampang yang dipikirkan
4. belajar jangan mau dibawa stress. if God brings me to it, He will bring me through it. amin! :)
5. dan yang pasti, musti belajar lebih banyak lagi biar ga ada problem gini2 lagi. selama ini pikir ah kyny uda cukup deh, ga ada masalah/lancar2 aja. tapi ternyata oh ternyata.. jadi ga boleh berenti belajar. klo mau terus berkembang harus mau untuk belajar terus ;)

jadi, thanks God :)
*semoga abis ini 3d max nya ga bikin bete lagi* :)

time out

#nowplaying You hold my world in Your hands - Israel Houghton

Have been laying on my bed for about an hour, was planning to sleep earlier due to lack of sleep last nite, but this mind kept on wandering. And somehow it brought me to hv a time out with God and myself personally. Lately I was too busy with my own mind/self and forgot to have a real time with myself n God. I feel I was walking by my own. I prayed, but it all just seem like a routinity, and I end up feels empty. But now I feel much better, it feels like a glass being filled with lots of water, I feel refreshed and the emptiness are gone :) grateful :)
Today I kept being reminded of one of my favorite quote from an ad:

I want to live my life to the absolute fullest. To open my eyes to be all I can be. To travel roads not taken, to meet faces unknown. To feel the wind, to touch the stars. I promise to discover myself. To stand tall with greatness. To chase down and catch every dream.

~living a full life on the outside, starts on the inside~


And that's what I'm learning now. To keep my 'inside' full, so I can live to the fullest. And I learned that it can only be filled by God. I need to do that regularly. Learn not to seek anything/anyone to fill that need, but to seek only God to make it full.
Thanks God for the lesson :)
Now my eyes are so ready to go to sleep :p

Nitey! :)

good morning habit ;)

Good morning!

This morning I start my day by having a walk around my neighbourhood. It's a refreshing and healthy thing to do. I have decided to start this good habit a long long time ago, but often failed because of this reason: mau bangun pagi itu susah sekaliii! :D niat besar tapi apa daya niat tidurnya lebih gede dibanding niat jalan paginya :p but thankfully akhir2 ini udah bisa lebih mengalahkan males n ngantuknya. Hore hore berhasil berhasil berhasil! *gaya dora*
Anw,there's a lot of positive things we can have by taking this morning walk/jog as a habit:
1. Yg pasti jd belajar/biasain diri utk bangun pagi. Kt orang kan, bangun kudu pagi biar rejekinya ga dipatok ayam. Hehe n it's true, when we wake up early, we would have more time to do things productively. Kadang klo bgn siang bawaannya uda males duluan n malah jd wasting much time in a day buat males2an. Tp klo bangun pagi, pikiran jd lebih seger, lebih semangat utk be productive.
2. Klo mau bgn pagi, mau ga mau jd biasain tdr cepet pas malemnya (kecuali bbrp org yg emang uda kebiasa tidur cm bbrp jam, klo gw sih ga bs :p). Early to bed, early to rise, makes u healthy wealthy and wise ;)
3. By jogging/ having a morning walk, yg pasti badan jd lebih seger, lebih sehat/fit ;)
4. Belajar ramah sama orang lain/tetangga yg ga dikenal. I'm actually a bit shy and not really into meeting people. But by this, I'm learning to be friendly with the people I know/don't. Belajar ngasi senyum ke org ga dikenal (kdg ms agak susah sih :p). It's a good thing, right? Anyway, another positive thing, kali2 aja bs kenalan sama tetangga yg ganteng. Hihi klo gw sampe skrg cm ketemunya sama om2/ opa2/ oma2 sih. Haha
5. As for myself, since I'm doing this alone, jd ada waktu utk talking to myself and talking with God, being grateful for the fresh air He gave, for the greenery/plants/nature I'm seeing, for every new chances He gave to me everyday. When I'm walking in a bright/sunny morning, it's just feels great, it made me feel I can trust my whole life to Him, knowing that He has already prepared a bright/sunny future for me. So morning walk is really a great time to be thankful to God :)

I hope I could keep this good habit.

Anw, I'm currently loving and experiencing this verse:
"What no one ever saw or heard, what no one ever thought could happen, is the very thing God prepared for those who love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9. My God is awesome. Thanks God ;)

dolce far niente

dolce far niente (italian)

n pleasant idleness
(literally: sweet doing nothing)

the sweetness of doing nothing; how sweet it is to do nothing



heiho. i'm back to the blogging world :) berasa uda lama banget ga nulis blog n blogwalking. hihi slama ini cuma bisa sempet2in klo ada waktu. but now, finally, i have more time. yeay :)

i'm actually in palembang now, visiting my mom n dad here. the weather is really hot in here, masi mendingan jakarta deh. untung kadang2 ada ujan jd udaranya bisa lebih seger. tapi bawaannya ngantuk mulu jadinya. hihi

anyway i'm in the state of being grateful, happy and pleasant nowadays. rasanya uda lama ga brasa ky gini, waking up in the morning with no worries, no burdens, no hard feelings. bisa santai, lebih ada banyak waktu buat merenung, dan lebih tepatnya, bisa mulai mengatur arah hidup. *serius banget yah* haha i mean, it seems like this is my time to reflect about what i've done in the past, and dream/plan about what i want to do in the future. somehow there's some things in the past yang rasanya kok gw jalanin cm sebagai rutinitas, ga ada semangatnya, bahkan skrg ky uda ilang semangatnya disitu. but anyway that past helped me a lot. it helped me to know about myself, my boundaries, my strength, etc. now i know what i want and what i don't want. and i know some things that i think i couldn't do but now i could. so i thank God for every past i have, n so excited about the future God has planned for me ;)

anw, i thank God for everything i have now, being planted in JPCC - anw i missed jpcc today *hiks* :'(, have a chance to attend COL class in church, have a great and wonderful family, boyfriend and friends, and for everyone i had a chance to meet. grateful for every situation n experience i have now. and keep hoping and anticipating for the best things God provided for me in the days to come. yeay! :)

and thanks God for this chance to have my dolce far niente ;)

Finding PeMi (Peace of Mind) ;p

Just enjoying my saturday night by resting on my bed. Tdnya mau tidur, badan cape bgt hr ini abis kerja bakti di kantor, tp ga bisa tidur2. Jdnya leyeh2 sambil baca koran deh. Udah lamaaa bgt kyny ga baca koran. Hihi
And I found this article by the career coach Rene Suhardono. Judulnya: Be Mindful with Ur Mind. Dan ternyata pas sama apa yg smpt kepikiran in my mind bbrp hari ini.
Lately I was so busy, so overloaded with work. I'm handling some residential projects (one self project, one sharing project, and one follow up project - yg harusnya uda bs dikelarin tp blom kelar2. Grrr). Dan kadang2, tanpa disadarin klo lg hectic tuh ya, rasanya semua project itu ngejer2 gw. Semuanya minta cpt diberesin, cepet di follow up, cepet digambar, cepet dikerjain, dsb. Blom klo ada masalah di lapangan. Detail ini ga bs lah, salah pasang lah, kerjaannya ga maju2 lah, dsb. Klo udah gitu rasanya pengen kabur aja. Pengen tidur n ngarep bangun2 tu project udah jadi semua n bagus, klien seneng, bos seneng, semua seneng. Hehe tp yah mo gimana lagi, klo lg hectic gt kan ga bs kabur gt aja, dan tetep harus bs beresin kerjaannya. N I don't know why, klo udah pusing dan stress dan overloaded gt, bawaannya malah jd males n ga semangat kerja ;p
But this week I've been reminded of this verse again: "Be STILL, and know that I am God." Kadang di tengah ke-hectic-an itu, kita butuh utk bs nenangin diri, finding peace in ourselves. Be still itu bukan maksudnya jadi diemin diri n ga melakukan apa2. But it means we have peace in our mind, won't let those obstacles n problems n worries take control of our mind, and trust God, that He holds our life completely in His hands. When u are still, God will tell u what's the best thing to do to solve ur problems, how to do it, etc. So u don't let those problems and worries overload ur mind, but u're letting God to take control of u. Cause letting ur mind be filled with those troubles and worries won't help u at all. So, now I'm learning to find peace in the middle of a storm :) it's not easy, and I'm still learning ;p
Anw, in the article I read this evening, Rene mentioned some that I found encouraging:
* Be mindful with ur mind. Pikiran itu ky kutu loncat, pindah dr 1 topik ke hal lain. Hilang kontrol atas pikiran sama aja dgn biarin diri dikuasain sama si kutu loncat.
* No one ever injured his eyesight by looking at the brightside.
* We may not live in the best of times, but we can live the best of time.
So, I'm learning to let go of this 'kutu loncat' n just let the good God control my mind and heart. Hope we all will learn the same :)

lessons in these few months

Feeling grateful for everything. And somehow I just want to write down and share my gratefulness :) Thank God for putting me in my workplace at present. Sometimes I'm just amazed when I realize I'm working here. With every challenges that sometimes trying to put me down and sometimes making me excited, with every ups and downs, I thank You Lord for making me what I am today. Since I worked I learned:
1. How to deal with people. With boss, colleages, clients, suppliers, contractors, site workers. Everyone. Me, someone who used to be not really into people, now I'm brave enough to face and learn how to deal with people. How to talk with people. Yea there are times, even til now sometimes I feel so stupid for things I did or said, but hey, life is to be lived and learned. People do mistakes and the wise are the ones who learned from those and try to do her best not to repeat it again :)
2. Learn how to deal and handle lots of things. And also learn how to prioritize things, which ones are more important, which ones are not. And by that, I learn to make steps on what should I do to finish all the tasks needed to be done. Before this time, I used to be confused when things just seems like so much and unbearable to be handled by myself. I'm not really a person who can concentrate on lots of things. I used to finish my work step by step, finishing this then continue with that, and so on. But now I learn to handle things better, cause sometimes some things are important at the same time. So I should learn to be efficient in using my time.
3. I learned to see the future in a positive way. Sometimes things just went not right and makes me down. And sometimes it feels like quitting. Especially when it's me myself who did the mistake. But it teaches me not to be irresponsible. To think fast to solve the problem, not to run from it. And just having faith that everything's gonna be alright, that at the end I will see these process along the way and see the result of what I've been doing, and will be grateful for all of it. And mostly, I'm learning to trust God, that He let things happen for a reason. He's a good God, and I'm sure that everything will be beautiful at the end, cause He holds it all in His hands :)

What else yah. I felt like I have learned a lot since the day I started to work here. I guess I'm to sleepy now to think about it. All I'm saying is: Thank You Lord for everything :)

A little bit worried about this following weekdays. Smurf! :(

But I shud say to myself: I'm not gonna make myself be burdened and worried about what tomorrows will bring, cause I'm in the hands of the Almighty God. Nothing to worry about. Just trust Him that He will never let me down and won't let anything harm me.

"Be still, and know that I'm God"

midnite post

Can't sleep. Dr yg tdnya ngantuuk bgt, ga tau napa jm segini pun jdnya belum tidur2 jg. Byk pikiran maybe? Hmm.
Anw, this is the verse I had been reminded tonight:
"The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delights in his way." Psalm 37:23
Just being reminded that even if things may seemed hard and we started to worry about tomorrow or what will happen next, please remind that God Himself had arranged our path, our steps beautifully. That nothing will happen to harm us. All things happen for our own good. Just trust Him. He will lead our steps.

All of my life, in every season, YOU are still God.

may yay yay

alohaa :)
waw, it has been weeks (or months?) i didn't write blog. kinda missing it. miss blogging, blogwalking, and lots of things i usually do. hoho
lotsa things happened since the last post. i got a job already (which is why i've been too busy n hv no time to update my blog ;p), i got my bachelor degree (it's Carol Joy, S.Ds now, yaay! finally! :D), then hmm what else. my bro moved in to my house for a temporary time coz his house is being renovated now. so my house is quite packed and felt like full of people, which is fun :) n not forget to mention, there's marvell -my almost 3 y.o nephew- too, which is so cute :)
anw, i'm no longer a student now. am already entered the world of work/career/job/whatever-they-call-it. some people have told me this before, and yes i admit it now: working world is like doing final project everyday (translate: dunia kerja itu ky TA setiap hari). haha! :D but eventhough sometimes it felt hard n so challenging, i'm grateful to have what i have now. cause it happened to bring out my potentials. so, go go joii! u can do this! :)
hmm what else to write yaa. hoho
got these random quotes from jpcc's breaking that i just read this evening:
*setiap manusia memiliki potensi untuk menyelesaikan masalahnya.
*God hasn't called me to be successful, He's called me to be faithful. ~Mother Theresa
*dalam kehidupan ini, Tuhan tidak memberi orang2 yg kamu ingini. tapi Tuhan memberi org2 yang kamu butuhkan. org2 itu datang untuk mengajarimu, menyakitimu, mencintaimu, dan menjadikan kamu sebagaimana seharusnya kamu.
*in our weakest moment, He is still God who never leaves us.
anw, i like this month's breaking, love the design, love the articles :)
that's all for now. am gonna read personal taste drama recap after this, then will go to sleep n rest. hoho
see ya again nxt time! ciao :)

yihaa!

hola! i'm back! :)
uakhiirrrnyaaa beres juga TAnyaaaa... ahhh terimakasih Tuhan :) :) dan sangat2 berterimakasih jg buat smua yg udah bantuin, kasi support, semangat, dan lain sebagainya.. thx for my friends n family..love u all :)
jadi kmrn senin itu sayah sidang.. dpt giliran ketiga.. oya, seblum itu pagi2 nya jg adaaa aja kejadian bikin panik.. tapi untung akhirny situasi bisa jadi aman terkendali lg :) lalu lalu, pas sidang jg sbnrnya udah nyiapin powerpoint n potongan film gt juga.. eh tapi tau2nya disuru langsung presentasi di dpn display..yasudah deh.. anw presentasi, tanya jawab sgala macem berjalan dgn lancarrr.. dan pokonya mo ditanyain apapun gw tetep senyam senyum sajah..dan seinget gw kyny smua pertanyaan bs gw jawab dengan baik. lancar dan sukses deh smuanya.. thx God :)
tp dipikir2 slama ini kerja keras sgala macem buat TA ini kok cuma gitu doang ya sidangnya? haha *sombong :) well anw, skrg sih masi menanti pengumuman nilai n lulus ato ngganya.. tp pasti lulus lah :) :)
so i guess this is the beginning of another chapter for me.. bntar lagi masuk dunia kerja.. yay :) tp untuk smentara masi mau balas dendam tidur dulu sih. dan masi harus revisi skripsi dikit buat bs hard cover, pdhl udah enek jg liatnya.haha
ahh feel so grateful. thank God for everything :) :)
gonna end this post with this pic. it's my display, walopun agak kosong, i'm proud of it :)

first post in 2010. hello new year! :)

just found these pictures here.
lucu yaaa... jd pengen main sama polar bear.. trus jd berharap suatu hari nanti gw bs ketemu langsung sama polar bear n panda jinak n bisa elus2. amin dehh! hihi
anw, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010! i'm excited for this new year, really believe that this year will be a greater year, better than 2009, and will see new things God has prepared for me. yay! excited :)
and i thank God for the past year, for all the blessings He gave, opportunities, memories, families, friends, everything and everyone. thanking God for the good and the bad that He has permit to be happened, cos it all happened to teach and help myself to become a better me. i'm so blessed :)
and i'm grateful too that the final judgement day (a.k.a sidang akhir) will be just less than 2 weeks ahead! freedom is near.. yay! walopun dalam wktu krg dr 2 minggu ini masih harus tetep kerja rodi ngerjain gambar kerja, gmbar presentasi, konsep, dan smua printilannya.. huwahh semangaat!
ih kok jd nulis panjang gini yah.hehe udah ah.. ciao :)

again, Gelukkig Nieuwjaar!! \(^^,)/

counting the days.

it's 20 days to the D-day, the day i should submit all the drawings and friends.. and 23 days to the final judgement week (i dont what's 'sidang akhir' in english ;p)
ahh after this i will be freeeeeee.. yaayyy... i'm sooo longing to finish these all soon.
anw i already made calendars, to do list, counting the days post it, etc.. but somehow kok gw brasa masi nyantai yah.. kadang panik gila2an, kadang stress gila2an, kadang pasrah abis, dan kadang sangat sangat santai..haha
and this morning i found this in design*sponge..
and i thought i should make one like this on my bedroom wall! biar aura musti ngerjain cepet2nya lebih terasa. ehehe :D *but surely i have no time to make it :)
well anw,lg pengen nulis iseng aja. going back to work on my skripsi again.. hari ini targetnya mau selesein bab 4 paper skripsinya.. ayoo semangaaaat!!!

short/long update

hmmm just want to write a bit. this week hasn't been the best week for me. had to experience shock therapy, twice. oh well, trying to stand still, though i admit is not easy. dan abis ngalamin gini rasanya sangat tidak bersemangat sekali buat lanjutin ngerjain ta. rasanya pengen kabur aja, udah deh ga usah pake ta2an. gile yah, waktu ke sidang akhir udah tinggal sebulan kurang, tapi design gw pun masi blum diapprove sama si u-know-who. ga pernah kebayang seumur idup mo lulus bakal disusahin ky gini. seumur2 kuliah di untar pun jg ga pernah sesusah ini rasanya. DI1 sampe 5 bisa lulus lancar2 aja, tp knp lg ta gini susah bener yah. dan abis ngalamin shock therapy gini, rasanya slama ini gw ga bisa desain, rasanya ky jd ga pede sama desain sendiri. dan rasanya sangat menyesal napa gw pilih topik ta ini. smurrf!
tp anw maren gw nntn sermonnya ps jose yg when u stop growing. dan dari situ gw jd diingetin bbrapa hal. i'll just paste it from my journal.
* ketika orang lain ga mengerti dirimu, ato mgkn lo disalahmengerti, ketika lo harus belajar mengerti orang lain, bahkan sama orang yang mgkn umurnya udah jauh di atas kamu, itu brarti Tuhan kasi kamu kesempatan untuk jadi lebih dewasa, bahkan lebih dewasa dari org itu. Dan kyny ini ngena banget sama gw. Gw harus ngertiin si u-know-who, this is a time n opportunity for me to grow wiser n more mature.
*ketika kamu dihadapin beban apapun, mau di keluarga, kerjaan, kuliah, or in my case skripsi. Rasanya bebannya berat sekali, but it’s the opportunity for u to grow. untuk streching ur faith, ur ability n ur capability. Ky otot yg distrech waktu work out, rasanya sakit, but next time otot itu jadi udah terlatih untuk menghadapi beban yang lebih berat. So it’s a work out time for me now. Rasanya sakit, but I’ll enjoy it when it’s over.

n ini jg bbrp yg gw dpt dr buku joel osteen:
*keep singing ur song. Despite of things negative that happens, we still have joy in our hearts. Sing ur song means u’re being grateful to God, and believing that He takes care of you, and He will turn your situation around on time. So, be grateful, keep on praising Him. He’s good.
*smile! Even if you don’t have any reason to smile. Smile by faith. Smiling sends a message to your whole body that everything is going to be okay. Be grateful n smile!
*believing is different than expecting. Believing is passive, expecting is active. So when u’re expecting for God to turn your situation around, u’re doing something about it. we do the best that we can do, and let God do what we cannot do. Leave the rest to Him.

ahh *tarik napas dalem2, buang*

okeh, banyak belajar dan diingetin jg sih. tp emang susah2 gampang yah. hr ini udah berusaha supaya tetep semangat dan berjuang buat lanjutin revisi ta, tp sejujurnya sayah mengakui klo sampe saat ini pun ms blum berhasil. udah buka max n cad seharian tp yg baru gw kerjain cuma ngerender design lobby yg kmrnan, pdhl itu pun udah ditolak sama si u-know-who. hiks

ok i run out of words now.

~the tenth day of november~

feels like christmas is already near. and i’m happy! :) padahal klo dipikir2,klo natal udah deket, brarti sidang akhir TA jg makin deket.hahaha *ketawa nanar* oh well, just want to enjoy the days i have now. tahun depan pasti udah beda udah ga ky gini lagi,bhkn waktu2 begadang buat bikin skripsi pun bakal ga ada lagi tahun depan, i’m gonna miss it then. so i have to enjoy it :) *skrg ngomongnya gampang,lg ga stres soalnya.ehehe*
hari ini jakarta menyenangkan. hujan rintik2,ga terlalu deras, mendung2 adem ayem, lagu di radio enak2.. ahh rasanya nyetir mobil jadi menyenangkan td. nyampe di rumah pun bawaannya pengen nyetel lagu jazz ato lagu natal.hihi :)
anw skrg masih mencari2 ide buat tugas akhir. blom bner2 kebayang mau bikin ky apa desainnya.bingung. ceritanya kn skrg disuru coba sketsa2 bagian entrance dulu. masa si dosen gw maren itu kasi ide bikin ada dinosaurus, gantung burung2an dsb di entrance gw?jadi bingung, emang gw desain rumah hijau apa desain kebun binatang yah?haha haduu bikin bingung aja tu bapak.spertinya dia blum begitu mengerti project gw.tp maklum jg sih udah berumur,klo mau coba jelasin lagi dianya ky susah dibilangin.jd gw manggut2 aja deh.hoho pdhl pengennya gw,mau gabungin antara modern kontemporer sama green design, tp ya gitu deh, ms blom bener2 nemu celahnya. kyny blom 'tiiing!!!' *nyala lampunya* klo udah 'tingg!' enak tuh desainnya pasti lancar.. jadi..ahh semoga cepet ketemu deh ide briliannya :) :)
oya,nemu ini tadi di inhabitat
ini recycled paperpulp cabinet, made by debbie wijskamp. pas baca paperpulp, langsung kebayang boleh juga nih buat ini nanti klo udah slese skripsi, secara kertas bekas jadi banyak di rumah (skripsi = pemborosan kertas, ngeprint terusss) lumayan kn klo kertas itu bisa dibikin barang lain lagi (go green!!) yah,dikumpulin dulu idenya.this is a great idea i think :)
hmm another updates for today:
*semalem mimpi kim bum! tp kim bumnya ngomong bahasa belanda.aneh yaa.haha :D ;D
*hari ini udah minum air putih pake botol minum 600ml-an 5 kali. jadi klo ditotal gw udah minum 6x500ml = 3 liter! haha saya seperti onta (ato gentong yah?hihi)
*mom n dad are coming tomorrow! yay! :) :)
*devotion pagi ini: let God be God.. mgkn byk hal yg terjadi itu ga sesuai harapan kita, rasanya byk hal yg bikin pusing dsb, dan jadi beban buat kita krn kita keep on struggling to find out and solve it all by ourselves. tp dr devotion pagi in gw jadi diingetin, let God be God. Dia Tuhan yg punya hidup kita, dan surely He is far more greater than any problems/challenges we face. just give the total control to Him, trust Him, n dont worry, cause He will take a good care of our life. everything happens for a reason, n it is for our own good. so, i want to say this to myself n to everyone who read this: smangaaatt!! dont worry be happy :) :)

good habit vs bad habit

ola :)
pagi ini gw bangun susahnyaaa minta ampun.tapi akhirnya decide klo gw terus2an males2an bakal jadi buang2 waktu.yang harusnya waktunya bs dipake buat ngerjain sesuatu jadi kebuang gt aja.jadi akhirnya gw bangun, n abis bangun baru nyadar klo listriknya mati lagi *pantesan panas.hehe dan krn mati lampu ga tau mau ngapain, gw lanjut baca buku joel osteen yang udah tertinggal beberapa minggu ini ;p
this time i read the 'feed your good habits' chapter. have read it before but somehow i felt i need to read it again today. i admit that these days bawaannya tuh pengen ngeluh, males2an, ga semangat, dst, hal2 sebenernya itu bad habit. dan klo diterusin lama2 bisa jadi kebiasaan.so i need to stop doing that. *still learning.wish me luck :)
so, here are some things from the reading..
*on the inside of every person a battle is raging between two wolves. one wolf is evil. it's angry, jealous, unforgiving, proud, and lazy. the other wolf is good. it's filled with love, kindness, humility, and self-control. these two wolves are constantly fighting. and which wolf is going to win? it is whichever one you feed.
so if you keep on feeding the negative habits, then you'll see those negatives developed in your life. but if you feed the good habits, you'll see those good characters developing in your life.
*feeding good habits is like doing a work out in gym. at the first time it felt really hard, your whole body felt pain n ache, but once you get used to it, the pain is no longer hard for you to take n exercise would be something easy for you to do.
awal2nya pasti susah, tp begitu kita udah bs fight n keep on doing that, semuanya bakal jadi gampang.. so, smangat joii kamu bisa!!
*it is not so much that we break bad habits; we must replace them.
jadi klo in my case misalnya, klo stres bawaannya pengen makan muluu (jalan ke dapur/ruang makan, cari makanan, makan terus jadinya ;p), gw harus cari hal lain yg bisa dilakukan klo gw stress lagi. hmm blom kepikiran sih.. apa yahhh..hoho

well, those are some lessons to learn again. wish me luck ;p

smurf.

i'm sooo not in the mood of doing anything. dont know why. ehm maybe i know a bit. this and that.
just felt that my mood is swinging so easily. tired of it. tired of being controlled by surroundings n circumstances. i know i shouldn’t be like that. but i ended up like this, so many times.
huff.. smurf smurf smurf..
anw i like the word smurf now. just remember about the smurfs, the comic story about the small blue creatures living in smurf village. it has been years i havent read those stories again, and suddenly i miss reading it again. but where could they be found by now? hoho
well back to the word smurf. the smurfs like to talk in smurf language, such like, 'i'm smurfing to the smurf', 'nice to smurf you', etc. it's just random i guess. so i like to say it, cause it's random. hehe
ahh enough for now. just smurfing around. smurf smurf :)

another random post

had too much euphoria since the last 3 hours. siang ini dpt gud news, dpt dua nama penguji buat eva2 n sidang akhir nanti. dan pengujinya bukan yang aneh2..jadi, terimakasih Tuhan :) :) rasanya senaaang, bahagia, tenang, tp kok jadi tambah males ngerjain TAnya yah.hahaha padahal eva2 tinggal itungan hari nih kynya.n there's still so much to do. huff
anyway untuk menyemangati diri gw kembali buat ngerjain TA, gw iseng nyari2 preview Earth Movie by Disney di youtube. hv u seen this film? gw udah nntn bbrapa bulan yang lalu, filmnya bagussssss bangettttt!! pengambilan gambarnya, suasananya, pencahayaannya, semuanya deh.. love this movie so much. dan klo ngeliat film ini tuh rasanya jadi stunned by the greatness of our God. ada bagian di film ini yang ky ngasi liat pohon2an yang berbunga2an gitu,dari bunga2nya masi kuncup, sampe bunganya mekar, trus dari pohonnya masi berwarna kekuning2an krn lg musim gugur, trus kering pas winter, trus mulai berbunga lagi pas spring, n berubah warna lagi pas summer. kereennnn banget. dan sutradarany tuh ngambil gambar filmnya tuh ky muter gitu, ah ga bs jelasinnya secara ga ngerti soal film-maker jg, tapi yang pasti ini film keren bgt. klo ga salah mereka sampe beberapa tahun gt buat bikin film ini. keren deh. trus jg banyak binatang2nya, dari polar bear, bebek2an, burung2an, pinguin, dan lain sebagainya. so, klo buat orang yang sayang binatang n suka nature pasti suka banget deh, including me.hehe
tp agak sedih jg nontonnya. si polar bear yang diceritain dari awal tuh kesian gitu, nyari makannya susah. secara daratan es habitatnya aja udah pada mulai meleleh, trus dia nyari makannya kan musti jalan jg kan. klo berenang terus kan ga kuat. endingnya agak menyedihkan jg, dianya masi tetep jalan terus, wandering around nyari makan. dan ga tau stelah udah ga disyut lagi filmnya,apa dia akhirnya dapet makan ato ngga. kasian yah..
ahh mau kasi liat previewnya ga bisaaa.huh!mau di-embed dr youtube, di-disabled. mau upload dr donlotan gw sndiri jg ga bisa. oh well.. yasudahlah..
rencananya pgn kasi liat preview video film ini ato film Home pas sidang akhir TA gw nanti (rencananyaaa ;p) kn soalnya bertema lingkungan gitu kan, untuk ngasi liat pentingnya kita jaga kelestarian dan keindahan lingkungan yg ada. dan dari film ini aja jg udah tersirat klo bumi itu (terutama ky polar bear dan makhluk hidup di dalamnya), udah pada mulai susah gara2 terjadinya global warming n climate change. jadi peran manusia itu penting buat menjaga alam.
udah mulai mikir nih buat presentasi sidang nanti (padahal skrg aja layout belum mulai gw utak atik.ha!), pengen pake video ky begini, trus jg bikin video 3d interior projectnya. blom pernah nyoba sih bikin video 3d itu, katanya sih lama ngerendernya klo ky gitu. tp sepertinya menarik klo ada video 3d itu jg, dan jadi lebih berasa kan suasana dalam ruangnya. so, we'll see. apakah nanti akhirnya bs pake video itu jg ato ga.hehe mudah2an bisa :) *yg bisa bikin video 3d mohon bantuannya yah,mo minta diajarin.ehehe ;p
ayo semangat lagi! ciayooo :)

some quotes i found this afternoon:

"You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win." - Zig Ziglar
"To be successful, you must decide exactly what you want to accomplish, then resolve to pay the price to get it."
"The challenge is not to manage time, but to manage ourselves." - Steven Covey

learning to manage myself. still hard on doing that. wish me luck!